teenager with low self esteem

What to Look for in Healthy Relationships for Teens

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What to Look For in Healthy Relationships for Teens

  • Are you unsure of what qualities healthy relationships for teens should have?
  • Do you yearn for a healthy relationship or friendship?
  • Are you tired of having negative people in your life?

Humans are social creatures, and we all want to have connections with other people. You may desire friends that will last a lifetime or a relationship with someone you genuinely love. Whatever the case may be, one consistent theme we all want in all of these relationships is for them to be healthy.

When being in a relationship or friendship, we want the other person to have a healthy connection with us. We want to feel safe and supported by this person and know that this person will lift us up, not tear us down.

Furthermore, you may be someone who has a lot of unhealthy relationships in your life. Unfortunately, the connections you’ve had with other people have only hurt you and made you feel unsupported (Check out our other article to see the signs of an unhealthy relationship).

The therapists at Mind Connections want you to know that you deserve to be treated well and have healthy relationships! You deserve to have people in your life who will bring you up, make you a better person, and fill your life with happiness.

If you need help figuring out what to look for in your next relationship or friendship, read this article! This article will describe what qualities healthy relationships and friendship should entail.

9 Qualities of Healthy Relationships for Teens

1. Good Communication

Every healthy relationship requires good communication skills. Think about it; if you don’t have good communication, it will only lead to:

  • Constant arguments
  • Repetitive disagreements that don’t feel resolved
  •  Unspoken resentment

Good communication allows the people in the relationship/friendship to tackle issues right at the source. When there is a healthy form of communication in a relationship or friendship, issues can stop from getting bigger and bigger. Also, each person feels like they can be honest and vulnerable without being shamed or bullied. According to researchers, openness (which leads to effective communication) helps people feel more satisfied in their relationships.

Good communication skills enable essential conversations to be had in a healthy mature way. If you want to learn how to build positive communication in your relationship, check out our other article here.

2. Trust, Honesty, & Respect

Trusting that your friend or partner will be there for you is majorly important. For example, imagine people are giving you a hard time at school. Facing bullying or other harassment can be very intimidating and upsetting.

If you feel like you are alone during this process without any social support, it can be even harder to handle. Having someone there for you who will stick up for you and stand by you can make a huge difference in your life. When you have a good friend or partner, you feel secure with them because they are honest and respectful. You feel like you can trust them and know that they will be there for you. Trust also means that you feel comfortable when your partner goes out or texts on their phone. Furthermore, researchers have found that going through someone’s phone can cause more distrust and conflict in a relationship.a healthy relationshipa healthy relationship

In a friendship, trust can mean knowing that your secrets are safe with this person or that this person will have your back in hard times.

3. Equality & Be Yourself

In healthy relationships or friendships, you should be able to feel like yourself! There are many times in life when we feel like we have to fit into certain boxes. For example, you may switch into a more professional manner at work than you usually would. Usually, you may be a loud and goofy person, but your colleagues or boss don’t see that side of you.

When you are with a good friend or partner, you should be able to let that side out! When you are in an unhealthy situation, it feels like you can’t be yourself. You constantly feel judged or criticized when you show different sides of your personality. It is hard when the person you love doesn’t seem to understand you or makes you feel strange for liking what you like or doing what you do.

4. Support (in Good Times and Bad)

There is a term called “fair-weather friends.” This term describes a friend that is there for you when the good times are rolling but leaves when the bad times come crashing down. You deserve someone who will support you through thick and thin.

They will be there to celebrate your highs – having a good friend or partner means that they support you in your endeavors and feel happy when you reach certain milestones. Jealousy and envy don’t take over in these relationships. Also, when you are struggling or going through a hard time, you feel like you can lean on this person, and they are there to support you.

5. Grow Together in Healthy Relationships for Teens

In a healthy relationship or friendship, you feel like you both are growing together. You may have a friend that you have had since you were a kindergarten. You grew up with this person and made many special memories without them. However, your connection is not the same as it once was.

It is okay to grow and change – that’s the point of maturing and getting older! We all grow into the people we are meant to be. A good relationship or friendship will grow/develop with you both. However, in a relationship or friendship that is not meant to last, people will often feel like they’re growing apart rather than together.

For example, you may have a friend you’ve been friends with since high school, and now when you’re in your twenties, you don’t feel as connected anymore. You feel like you have few things to talk about, your conversations revolve around the past, you don’t enjoy seeing them anymore, etc.

6. You Have Fun Together

Going off the last point of the section, you should be able to have fun with this person still. Many times, for example, when people first get into relationships, they go on a lot of fun dates or engage in interesting experiences. In a healthy relationship or friendship, you will still enjoy each other’s company even after much time passes.

You don’t have to do extravagant things together, it can be as simple as sitting on the couch and watching TV, but you still have a great time.

a healthy relationship

7. Appreciate Each Other’s Interests

You don’t have to like everything that your partner or friend likes. Often, opposites attract, and people who are not similar find their way into each other’s lives. It is normal to be into different things than your partner or friend, but you both should respect each other’s interests. In an unhealthy relationship, you may be criticized or brought down a lot. The other person might find your interests weird or boring and don’t care to listen or learn about them.

When you care about someone, you should care about their interest and what makes them happy. If, for example, a genre of music makes your friend or partner happy, you shouldn’t put it down. You don’t have to like the same type of music, but you should still appreciate it and not make fun of it every time they listen to a song.

8. They Bring out the Good in You

Having a good friend or partner helps bring out the good in you. Have you ever noticed when you’re with someone who makes you feel upset or down, you don’t feel like yourself? You feel like a more negative version of yourself. When you are with this person, you may do things that you don’t like to do or engage in conversations you don’t want to have.

For example, think of when you hang out with someone who constantly gossips about other people. Even if you don’t like to talk about other people, you may fall victim to this action because of your company. When you are friends with someone good for you, they bring out the best qualities in you.

9. You Bring out the Best in Them

As a continuation of the last section, when you are in a healthy relationship, you help bring out the good parts of the other person. You can help them feel confident in themselves because you support them and lift them up. You are part of a support system that allows the other person to feel comfortable and proud of themselves.

Relationships Could End

Look Out for Red Flags

Healthy relationships are not perfect. How to tell if your relationship is healthy or not? Bottom line is, healthy relationships make you feel good about yourself; yet unhealthy relationships at least often make you doubt your worthiness because you are not being treated right. Some red flags of possible unhealthy relationships may include:

  • Constant gossip
    • If you hang out with some who gossips a lot, there might be a chance that they are also talking badly about you. Be careful what you say around these people, and try to break the toxic cycles of gossip.
  • Joking all the time (at your expense)
    • It is great to joke with your friends. There may be times when you both can jokingly make fun of each other. If you are into that humor, that is okay. What it’s not okay is when the humor is constantly aimed negatively toward you. You may be being bullied, and you don’t even realize it. You shouldn’t be the source of jokes all the time, especially if the person jokes about things that are important to you.
  • You are the one always reaching out
    • If you notice that you are always the one making plans or texting this person first, this could be a red flag. You deserve to have someone who matches your energy and efforts. However, we would suggest talking to the other person about this before assuming the worst. Some people are more introverted and don’t think to make the initiative to hang out/talk (even if they’d be happy to).

Deciding to Move On or Let Go

Sometimes friendships or relationships might need to come to an end. Moving on or letting go can be a difficult process. Ultimately, if a friendship or relationship feels like it isn’t fulfilling you anymore, making you happy, or is unhealthy, you may have to consider moving on from this situation. As much as you love someone, you need to love yourself more and learn that you deserve better!

You deserve to be in a happy relationship or friendship that brings you up and makes you feel confident and supported. If you are not receiving these things, know that you deserve better. Check out this article to learn more about this process.

Breakups can happen in relationships or friendships. In relationship breakups, you may feel very heartbroken and hurt about the split. The breakup makes you feel like you lost someone you loved, and you keep focusing on the good memories. To learn more about romantic breakups, click here. To learn more about friendship breakups, click here.

Therapy Options & Resources

Social support system

If you want help on your healing and journey of moving on, Mind Connections wants to help you! Our therapists can help you build self-esteem, deal with any stage of your relationship, and help you cope with any stress or difficulties you might be facing during this time.

If you are in an abusive situation, know that help is out there! Here are some links provided by the NCADV:

Content Creator, Victoria Gallo; Reviewed by Dr. June

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