Ways to Tackle Your Early Twenties
When we grow up, we imagine and daydream about our adult lives. As a kid, it seems like all you want to do is grow up! Doing childish things become boring, and we imagine a life where we are driving cool cars, owning our own houses, settling down with our partners, and ultimately living the life we want to live. As we get older and approach our early twenties, we start realizing that life is not as easy as we once thought it would be.
After the diplomas are received from college and our caps are thrown in the air, life falls into a weird period of time. Life after college can be challenging for many people. Their professional and social lives become increasingly challenging to deal with.
Many times, people in their early twenties start feeling lost. They are thrown into a whole new world full of adult-like responsibilities and experiences. Being an adult can be intimidating! If you feel lost or scared in your 20s, know that you are not alone! This article will talk about the tricky years of your early twenties and how to cope during this time.
Why Are Our Early Twenties So Hard?
In these early years of our adult lives, there are many things we must figure out. One of them is our career. It feels like our entire lives are centered around what we will do for employment. From the early ages of our lives, we are introduced to famous scientists and philosophers in science and history class. We enter high school and start preparing for SATS and college entrance exams. Then, at the young age of 18, we have to decide if we will enter the college scene or look for a job.
Some people can tell you their dream career from when they were little. These people grow up intending to become a singer or doctor. Their passions drive their actions and motivate them to achieve. But, what about those people who don’t know what they want to do with their lives? Know that you are not alone if you find it challenging to decide on what job you want. In recent surveys, only 14% of people reported enjoying their job and having no desire to change it. In the same study, 70% of people reported switching their career paths to another field.
These statistics show that so many people are experiencing job confusion like you are! It is a totally normal experience to have!
Friends Start Decreasing
Making friends as an adult can be challenging. People start going to different places and branching off to new experiences. It doesn’t feel the same as when you would hang out in high school or college. People in their early twenties may struggle to keep in contact with and say close to the friends they once had. Social media plays a significant factor in this. When you feel upset over not socializing and being lonely, logging on to social media may make you feel worse. You see people hanging out and doing things you wish you were doing!
If social media gets you down, check out our article about the topic. Social media has significant advantages but can also bring people stress and disappointment. Read our article to learn how to cope better with your internet usage.
Relationships are Difficult in Your Early Twenties
People in their 20s start feeling the pressure to settle down with someone and start a life together. The societal pressure starts making people nervous, and they feel obligated to find a partner fast! This makes dating less fun and more stressful. It’s also hard to meet people nowadays! Online dating seems to have taken over in this day and age. Especially with COVID hitting this world, it feels impossible to meet new people and find connections.
Living at home in Your Early Twenties
Do you still live at home in your early twenties? You may feel embarrassed over living with your parents still in your 20s. Know that there is nothing to be ashamed of! Statistics from a recent study show that 52% of young adults are living with their parents.
Here is the reality: It’s hard to save money in this day and age, especially when getting a job is so challenging. Reports show that 6.9M people are unemployed. It feels like companies are constantly “urgently hiring” until you apply and never hear back! Living at home is something more and more people have to do in their 20s.
Figuring Out Who you Are
Most coming-of-age movies focus on people finding themselves in their teenage years. Ironically, it feels like most people are still figuring out who they are well into their 20s and 30s. You are not the same person you were in high school, which is totally normal! Change can be challenging, but we grow and evolve in life! No plant can bloom without going through the development stages of turning into a flower. Have patience with yourself and your journey- you are just getting started!
The Idea of Aging
Many people fear aging. Society had made us think that women especially should fear getting older. Anti-aging and wrinkle creams are pushed on us from what seems like the time we are teens! Society has made people think that their late teens and 20s are the only golden years of their lives. This is not true! Getting older is a beautiful experience that we all should feel blessed to have! Many people don’t experience getting old and growing up – their lives are taken too soon.
How to Cope with the Stress of Your 20s
Remind Yourself That Making Mistakes is Expected in Your 20s
You need to reassure yourself of your capabilities and potential! Remember how young you truly are. You have so much time to mess up and learn and do it all over again! Mistakes make us learn and grow. Sure, it makes us sad when we fail, at first. But any expert started as a beginner and had their fair share of setbacks.
It is actually a good thing to make mistakes in your 20s – you are learning life lessons that will stick with you as you develop during the rest of your life.
Realize That Life Is Not a Race & Stop the Comparisons
Remind yourself that you will find your way and figure out your path at your own pace and time. We all are unique and special individuals. There is no one “right way” to live your life or do something. Stop comparing yourself to others, in the meantime! If it makes you feel better, unfollow or mute people on social media who make you feel bad about yourself. You deserve to be surrounded by media and people who make you feel motivated, not sad.
Say positive affirmations to yourself – this will encourage kind words to be thought and said to yourself:
Try these now: I am…
- always enough
- figuring out my path
- in control of my life
- strong and determined
- growing and developing into the best version of myself
Don’t Rush the Dating Process.
As mentioned before, life is not a race. Dating is also not a competition or contest. If you feel upset that your friend is getting married before you or having a baby first, realize that your own plan is still unfolding. Try your best to be happy for others. Recognize that the good you put in the world will come back to you. Practice being supportive to your friend even when you feel sad or disappointed. Life is not black and white – it is grey. You can have two emotions going on in your body at once. Allow yourself to feel any feelings you have of sadness or anger. Allow yourself to feel these feelings but ultimately let them go. Being happy for others makes you a better friend and loved one. Then one day when the times comes to be happy for your milestones, other people will jump for joy and return the favor!
Use Disappointment as Motivation
When you feel down on your life for not having your own house or spouse, use your feelings to motivate change in your life. If you feel disappointed, use these emotions as motivation to keep going and not feel this way anymore. As mentioned before, we all learn from our mistakes and grow. Use each experience in your life as a step in figuring out your path.
If you wanted to be a teacher and ended up not liking the profession, that is OK! Now you know that you were not meant to be a teacher. If you became a lawyer and decided it wasn’t meant for you, that helped you figure out more of what is calling for you in this life! No matter how much schooling or dedication you put into a job, know that you should never be stuck. There will always be options out there waiting for you. This is YOUR LIFE and no one else’s! You deserve to live happy and healthy days. Encourage yourself to never stop believing in and chasing after your dreams.
Practice Gratitude in Your Life
While feeling sorry for ourselves, we can lose our appreciation for our current life. Even when it feels hard to do, practicing gratitude helps people find peace and comfort in the lives they are living.
As mentioned in our article, gratitude helps people deal with jealousy and envy. Envy makes us compare ourselves to others, look down on our attributes, and harbor ill-will towards the objects of our envy. A study by Xiang et al. found that a person with higher levels of gratefulness would experience more benign envy and higher social support.
Gratitude also helps people feel more positive in life. Gratefulness can encourage feelings of positivity in people’s lives. When people with high levels of gratitude reflect on the past, they experience greater satisfaction and fulfillment in life. Studies also show that gratitude can prompt feelings of happiness and help lower depressive emotions.
Gratitude can help you deal with 20s problems like fear of aging. It will make you appreciate getting older and living life each day. It will also show you more appreciation for your body and all it does for you – this will help you be kinder to it when wrinkles appear.
Put Yourself Out There
Meeting people in your 20s can be hard, but it is not impossible! There are different groups you can join online or apps designed for making friends. If you want to meet people in person, try joining new workout classes or clubs that focus on hobbies you like – reading, gardening, etc. Know that if you feel lonely it will be OK! Use your alone time to find hobbies you enjoy and explore you interests. If you keep trying and putting yourself out there, good people and experiences will come your way.
Think of Therapy
If you are really struggling in your early twenties, consider going to therapy. People with constant feelings of sadness or disappointment might be experiencing signs of depression or anxiety. A therapist can help you deal with any struggle you are facing! From relationship issues to job worries, our team at Mind Connections wants to support you. You deserve to live a happy and healthy life in your 20s. Call us now to learn more about how we can help you!
Content Creator, Victoria Gallo; Reviewed by Dr. June Cao