Tips for Parents to Help a Teenager Struggling with Mental Health Issues
As parents, you may feel your worries grow with your children especially when they become adolescents. Teenager struggles apparently are not just for teens, but for parents as well. Challenges faced by youth today can be a long list. For instance, academic performance, relationship issues, drug use, bullying, teen pregnancy, to name a few.
One of the biggest concerns parents may have is their teens’ mental health. However, it can be hard to learn teenage problems and solutions. According to a national poll, only a quarter of parents thought their adolescent would definitely talk to them about a possible mental health issue during the pandemic. How to help a teenager with mental health issues? The first step actually is to identify those warning signs that your child may be struggling. Only after you spot the red flags can you actively find services to help your teenager struggling with mental health difficulties.
What Teenager Struggles Could My Child Have?
As much as many teens may enjoy their teenage years, unfortunately, your teenager may not feel the same way. Teenager struggles are so true for many.
Teenage Mental Health Facts
Teenager struggles are inevitable simply because it is a vulnerable time in their life transition. Typically they are dealing with a combination of challenges in physical and emotional development. These could include mental health, social and emotional wellbeing, sexual and reproductive health, violence and unintentional injury, substance use, and nutrition and obesity. Specifically, below are teenage mental health statistics:
- Approximately 20% of adolescents have a diagnosable mental health disorder.
- Many mental health disorders first present during adolescence.
- Between 20% and 30% of adolescents have one major depressive episode before they reach adulthood.
- Adolescents accounted for a larger share of suicides across 14 states in 2020 than they did over the previous five years. The 2020 statistics showed that suicide was the second leading cause of death for people ages 10-14 and 25-34.
- Suicide affects young people from all ages, races, genders, and socioeconomic groups.
- As many as 70% of youth in the juvenile justice system have a diagnosable mental health disorder.
With regards to challenges faced by youth today, experts explained the following points:
~ Anxiety can be a Top Teenager Struggle
As mentioned in our article, 7 Ways To Help A Teenager With Anxiety, anxiety is a mental, emotional, and physical condition. It features worry, nervousness, or fear that is ongoing, excessive, and negatively affects a person’s ability to function.
Some other symptoms can include:
- Restlessness
- Irritability
- Lack of concentration or focus
- Shortness of breath
- Chest pain
- Headache or stomachache
- Trouble Sleeping
Did you know that anxiety disorders are some of the most common mental health conditions in children and adolescents? It affects 8-10% of this age group. Up to 30% of teenagers will develop an anxiety disorder during their lifetime. You may wonder what your teen can be anxious about. The answer is: many things! They may be worried about school grades, friendships, fitting in at school, etc.r
~ Isolation or Secrecy
You may think you know your teen very well. Sure enough, you may know how they act usually and what their normal behavior is like. However, when your child is going through something, their usual behavior may start to change more and more. You can chalk it up to them getting older and just being in a “teenage phase,” but sometimes it can be more complicated than that.
For example, your teen may seem to be isolating themselves more and more. They used to come home and tell you about their entire day, do homework at the kitchen table, and eat dinner with the family every night. Lately, you notice that they have been staying in their room and not leaving. You try to talk to them, but they seem to shut off or give you the cold shoulder. Their isolation can be a clear sign that something is going on, but your teen might not be ready to talk about their problems yet.
When you have open communication with your kids, your teens are used to being honest with you and sharing what is going on in their lives. If you usually have an honest relationship with your child and start noticing they are keeping secrets/not telling you where they are, they may be up to no good. Teens should be allowed to have fun, meet new people, and have new experiences while being safe. You may notice your teen coming home late at night without explaining where they are. The open communication you once had seems to be fading away.
~ Low Grades or Skipping School
Most often, a teenager struggle is their grades. Your teen may usually be a student who always gets good grades, is constantly studying, and keeps up well with their work. They may be going through something hard in their life, and suddenly their grades start dropping—the A’s they used to get now become Cs, Ds, or even failures. You don’t know why this is happening, but you notice that they are hiding their report cards or not telling you when their grades are posted like they used to.
You teen may start skipping school or not attending. They may also keep asking you if they can stay home from school. They have a million excuses why they don’t want to go – this can be a sign that they are facing issues in school you may not know about like bullying, for example.
~ Depression – Another Typical Teenager Struggle
Being unmotivated is a potential sign of depression. Many people mistakenly consider depressed people to be “lazy.” This word brings a negative connotation to a symptom of depression.
If your teen seems more unmotivated than usual, sleeping more, and not getting out of bed, they may be going through a depressive episode. You may look around the room and notice that it is filthy. Their bed sheets are a mess, there was garbage over the row, and they are not taking care of themselves. Their physical appearance can show signs of what is going on mentally within them. For example, you notice that they haven’t been showering for a while, wearing the same clothes constantly, or they look more tired or listless.
Your once happy teen may not seem more sad and listless than usual. You are used to seeing them laugh or smile, and now you feel lucky if you get to see them in that state every so often.
~ Bullying Can be a Serious Teenager Struggle
As upsetting as it can be to think about, your child can potentially be dealing with a bully. Bullies go after people who they want to harm, physically and mentally. Physically, a bully can hurt another teen by fighting, shoving, and targeting them. Emotionally, bullies can make someone feel awful about themselves and diminish their self-esteem.
If you start noticing your child seems more insecure or constantly talking bad about themselves, this can be a sign they are being bullied. The bully may point out flaws to them and your teen is now fixated on what they said. They don’t seem confident in who they are and may be to nervous to go to school.
~ Substance Abuse and Bad Habits
Many teens use these years to experiment and have fun. You may start to notice that your teen is coming home drunk or high every night. This can be very alarming, especially for kids who never experimented in this way before.
As mentioned before, many teens have their first relationship in their teenage years. While every relationship has its own unique struggles, it should not appear toxic to you from the outside. You may notice your teen and constantly upset, worried, or fighting with their partner. You may think that they are in a toxic situation and needs to get away from this person. Sometimes people are too immature for a relationship and you to grow up to be better.
Causes of Mental Illness in Youth
Risk Factors for Mental, Emotional, and Behavioral Disorders in Adolescents is a report on mental health by the Surgeon General. It includes causes of teenager struggles that since the pandemic started, such as,
- Increased stress.
- Parental depression.
- Negative family environment such as parental substance abuse
- Child mistreatment or abuse by parents.
- Family conflict.
- Loss of school, sport, church, community routine, and
- Loss of supportive relationships with friends, extended family members, mentors.
How to Help Your Child With their Teenager Struggles
As mentioned above, teenager struggles can be dangerous for them and the family. How to help a teenager with mental health issues? There is a lot that parents can do. Specifically,
1. Keep Communication Open and Honest
First of all, it is essential to let your teen know that it is ok to talk about anything with parents. When you can keep the communication channel open, chances are you will know your teens’ concerns, difficulties, and struggles when they occur. In your communication, talk about your own experiences and fears when you were an adolescent. By doing this, you let them know that they are not alone. As a result, they may be more willing to share their issues with you.
2. Watch for Warning Signs
Obviously all teenager struggles with mental health have their own warning signs or red flags. Therefore, it is important for parents to arm yourself with information about the most common mental health issues among teens. What to look for then?
- In terms of behaviors, severe, dramatic, or abrupt changes occur, such as
- Sleep difficulties
- Appetite change
- Withdraw and isolation
- Loss of interest
- Self-harm behaviors
- Abandonment of friends
- Excessive secrecy
- Constant lies to parents
-
Academically, unexpected and dramatic decline
-
Physical changes of weight loss and loss of appetite, which could indicate an eating disorder
- Emotionally, sadness with tears, anger, and expression of worthlessness
3. Remind Your Teen that You are Always There for Them
Many teenagers don’t really want to talk to their parents about their problems. That can be hard to accept, especially if you were used to them as younger children always coming to you when they had a “boo boo” and needed any support. Even if you feel like your teen isn’t ready to talk, just reminding them that you were there to listen when they are can mean so much.
Remind your child that you are there to support them and they can talk to you about anything. Check in with them often to show that you mean what you say. If they approach you and want to talk, make time for them and show that you are actively listening to what they want to share.
4. Offer to Help Them With Small Tasks
You may notice that your child is not showering as much as they usually do or refuses to leave their bedroom etc. As much as we want our children to take up responsibilities and become more independent, we also want them to know that there is nothing wrong with asking for or needing help.
If your child needs help let them know that you were there for anything they need to cope with their teenage struggles. Sometimes they may be procrastinating cleaning their room because they are feeling depressed or unmotivated. Offer to tackle this room cleaning together!
5. Relate to Them
You have probably went through similar experiences as a child that your child is going through. Remind them of your understanding and let them know that you were there to help them with any potential problems they may face.
Share your stories with them and let your teen vent about theirs. Venting helps people release stress in their lives. The more they talk about something, the less intimidating a problem can become. For example, your teen may be worried about an upcoming exam they’ve been procrastinating studying for. When they vent and express their feelings to you, you can help them disprove their fears and start working on possible solutions they can turn to.
When you share your stories, don’t shy away from warning them about the danger of certain and habits, like smoking, drinking underage, etc. Teens don’t see the world from the same experience or insight that their parents have gathered over the years. Use your wisdom to guide and warn them in their life journeys.
6. Tell Them to Practice Self-Care
As a matter of fact, we all deserve to practice self-care and compassion. In fact, self-care helps people relax, get in tune with their interests, and kindly treat their bodies.
Some ideas for self-care to tell your teens to try:
- Get enough sleep, nutritious food, and water in your days
- Exercise and get your body moving to produce good-feeling chemicals
- Talk to a trusted friend and vent about any issues you have
- Do hobbies or activities that make you happy
- Teach them about stress management and controlling their anger anxiety
7. Advocate for Your Teen
Apparently one of the teenager struggles can be their grades. Help your child by suggesting they see a tutor or fining one that can help them receive extra lessons outside of school hours. Suggest that they make a study group with their friends and even offer to host an after school hangout for the teens to do homework and study.
Bullying can be something else you can advocate against for your teen. If your teen is getting bullied, you can handle this by talking with school officials, teachers, or counselors.
8. Destigmatize Getting Mental Health Help
We must stop the guilt and stigma surrounding prioritizing our needs/putting ourselves first! Teens need to know that they can express their emotions, share their feelings with you, and get the support they need. You can help de-stigmatize going to therapy or getting help by watching how you speak about mental health issues.
For example, if your child hears you saying that all people who go to therapy are “crazy” they might not feel comfortable asking for help from you, even when they desperately need it.
Lead by example and go for help yourself if you need it! Try looking for resources or joining a support group for parents. Socializing with other parents can help you feel less alone. You will see that everyone is trying to do the best they can with what they have. You don’t have to face your child’s teenage struggles!
Finally, make sure you are validating your child’s emotions and not pushing them away when they are vulnerably trying to open up. Let them know that you truly see and hear them, and that you are dedicated to helping them with whatever support they need.
9. Help Your Teen Connect with a Therapist
Therapy can help your children to manage teenager struggles in a healthy way. A therapist can assist your teen to increase their self-esteem and worth. If your teen seems to be going through signs of anxiety, depression, or bullying, therapy can help them cope.
Therapy can provide a safe space for your teen to open up and receive guidance. Your teen can benefit from opening up about their stressors or struggles at school or in life in general. Mind Connections wants to help you; call now!
Content Creator, Victoria Gallo; Reviewed by Dr. June Cao
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