As many as 16 million people in the United States are estimated to struggle from depression. When self isolation is a norm during the COVID pandemic, many people may face higher risks of depression. How to cope with depression becomes a question many people face. 

What does depression feel like? When you have depression, it could sound overwhelming to do your regular daily activities. On a particularly difficult day, week, or month, finding the energy to even get out of bed can feel like moving a mountain. In fact, a common symptom for depression is not finding the reason or joy in doing anything, rather, it can become an overall feeling of numbness, sluggishness, physical tiredness, low energy, and loss of interest. Sometime you may even call yourself “lazy” when you actually lack motivation because of depression. In an ideal world, you would simply be able to do the dishes, take a shower, or write that report. But in the world of depression, it may not be that easy to get motivated.

GRAPES – Effective Ways to Find Motivation to Cope with Depression

How to motivate yourself to fight depression naturally? We introduce the tool called GRAPES to help you, that is, to boost motivation to change your thoughts, behaviors, and eventually your mood. Would some fruits help to manage depression? Here this fruit is actually an effective approach to have helped many people with depression. What does GRAPES stand for? Simply put, GRAPES represents these acronyms:

• Gentle with Yourself
• Relaxation
• Accomplishment
• Pleasure
• Exercise
• Social

GENTLE with yourself

Simply put, gentle with yourself is about self-compassion. When you are in the world of depression, you may tend to be hard on yourself or even “mean” to yourself with negative thoughts such as

• “I am a loser”
• “I am useless”
• “I am worthless”
• “No one likes me”, or
• “No one cares about me”

Instead, change the way you talk to yourself like you talk to a friend. Once you do, you will notice the different tone and choice of words. These dialogues may more readily turn to positive affirmations such as:

• I love myself!
• I made great efforts!
• This is not easy but I did it!
• Great job getting my homework done!
• I am in control of my thoughts and my life.
• I acknowledge all challenges and still stay strong!

RELAXATION

In essence, relaxation is to stay mindful of the present moment. A mindfulness moment is the moment you create when you acknowledge and intently pay attention to what you are experiencing. For example, they may be what you see, what you hear, what you smell, what you touch or feel, what you taste, the way you breathe, and how you move. 

Relaxation Helps to Calm Your Nervous System

In the depression downward spiral, you always feel tired, empty, and disconnected. Relaxation or mindfulness for depression is to calm your central nervous system. This way it could clear your mind and recharge your body. When you take 5 to 10 minutes to observe how you breathe, for example, you focus on how the air comes in and goes out through your nostril. When you do this, your brain gets relaxed and you may feel like taking a mini mental vacation. 

Another example is, when you walk your dog for half an hour, you are mindful as well. You focus on the environment and your body, the temperature in the air, people passing by in the street, the traffic lights changing colors, sunlight filtering through the trees, the birds chirping, your legs moving, and your dog stretching the leash. In a word, you are immersed in the moment, reconnect with your inner strength, and feel the peace and tranquility.

Relaxation May Take Different Forms

Relaxation may also be taking a nap, reading a good book, taking a shower or a bubble bath, practicing yoga, swimming and feeling the water, enjoying your favorite music, cuddling with your pet, taking care of your plant, sewing, making your tea, slowly having coffee, preparing a meal, having some snacks, or simply sitting under the sun and feeling sunshine warming up your body. You may find some Apps such as HeadSpace and Calm helpful with a few minutes of relaxation exercise every day. Many YouTube videos can also guide you to practice meditation and mindfulness.

ACCOMPLISHMENT

Accomplishment does not have to be that you ran for Governor or won Nobel Prize. It may be as small as you planned to talk to a friend and you actually did accomplish that. Having a daily routine is essential to fight depression naturally. You probably have a lot going through your mind already, so you don’t need to have a mental list as well. Instead, physically make lists or write down a daily activity schedule. This can allow you to visualize what tasks you actually have to do for that day or week. Even better, you can cross them off! 

Check off the List

Research shows that by checking something off a list, the brain produces dopamine, the happy hormone, to reduce depression. This could make you feel good with more energy and want to do more. Besides, you can make a list via a mental health or motivation app on your smart phone. Even if it’s ‘brush teeth’ or ‘have a shower’, you’ll start to feel better once you’ve crossed it off.

Set Small Goals and Reward Yourself

Meanwhile, set small goals and reward yourself when you accomplish them. When depression drains your motivation, you have to work to create new incentive. Hopefully this could replace what existed naturally before your mental health deteriorated. Simply start with small and achievable goal setting. 

For example, your goal could be cleaning out your closet. If you succeed in that, reward yourself by cooking your favorite meal or watching an episode of the latest TV show. In general, this process of small accomplishments and rewards will help restore your motivation.

Steadily Increase Difficulty of the Goal

As you begin to feel better, steadily increase the difficulty of the goals. Try going on a long run, for example, and rewarding yourself with a small dessert. This makes way for accomplishment which leads to a very good feeling. If you start to feel overwhelmed, stop and re-evaluate your expectations. Eventually the goal can be something as challenging as learning a new skill or trying something you have never done. Try different options and see what works.

PLEASURE – is another Strategy to Cope With Depression

Pleasure is about having fun activities that brings you joy. Depression may feel like depriving fun out of your life. What you used to enjoy doing may not sound appealing any more. Encouraging yourself to literally do them again would eventually help to improve your energy as well as your mood. Dancing, listening to music, coloring, gardening, watching a YouTube channel, reading, eating gourmet food, having sex, cuddling a pet, and enjoying a hobby can all bring your pleasure.

Music for example, has been found to reduce symptoms of depression in many research studies. Overall, it can boost your mood and make you more aware of your emotions. According to research, listening to music releases dopamine, a chemical which increases pleasure. What type of music works better then?  suggested that listening to upbeat music will make you feel more motivated and empowered. However, sad songs have been found to provide experiences of feelings, memories, empathy and nostalgia. At times you may need a cry before you can get motivated and attempt to tackle the day.

EXERCISE to Cope with Depression

Research has highly recommended exercise as a treatment for depression. Combining exercise with antidepressant medication is also considered an evidence-based treatment. Exercise does not have to be at the gym, especially during the COVID pandemic when gyms are mostly closed. It is simply “get moving” when you can keep social distance. This could be from the bedroom to the living room, going for a run, or taking a walk outside, whatever you feel you are capable of. 

One of the most difficult things with depression is not wanting to move from your cozy cocoon called bed. You have made it your safe haven where you feel comfy and safe; however, staying there will only demotivate you more. If you’re able to, get outside with the fresh air! It will clear your mind and reset your brain a little. If outside is too much, sit in a different room and open a window. On your way to the living room, you might see something that needs picking up from the floor. Picking up one thing can be the start of getting the ball rolling. One turns into many and before you know it you have checked off half the items on your list.

SOCIAL – a Great Way to Cope with Depression

Human beings are social animals and isolation could cause depression. With the continuation of the Coronavirus pandemic, it is not your choice to self isolate, but you might be feeling the social isolation or withdrawal. This can make anyone feel demotivated and depressed. 

How to prevent a depression spiral while quarantined? This is high time that you use those apps to stay connected, FaceTime, Zoom, Google Hangout, Skype, WhatsApp, you name it. Facetiming a friend or loved one can instantly make you feel less alone. You don’t need to talk about anything important, just a simple chitchat with someone you care about will make you feel more at ease.

If they are busy, ask if you can just stay in the corner. Being on the phone to someone doesn’t mean you always have to talk. By watching others stay busy, it can give you the courage to get things done. Your friend is doing the dishes? Do them together. A family member is working from home? Get your work out too, making your own virtual office. Depression can make you feel very lonely, therefore, it is crucial to remember that people are there for you.