1. What is this Person’s True Character?

Understanding your partner’s true character is essential before getting serious in a relationship. Assessing compatibility involves looking at shared values, beliefs, and long-term goals. Here are some key questions to ask yourself:

Is my partner kind and respectful to others?

Kindness and respect are fundamental qualities in any relationship. If your partner treats others well, it’s a positive indicator of their overall character. This is important because it reflects their capacity for empathy and understanding. A partner who is kind and respectful is likely to create a nurturing and supportive environment in the relationship. They are more likely to be considerate of your feelings and needs, fostering a healthy and harmonious partnership. For instance, if they are patient and understanding with a friend going through a tough time, it shows they can offer similar support to you.

How do they handle conflicts and disagreements with others?

Conflict resolution skills are crucial in any relationship. Observe how your partner deals with disagreements. Do they stay calm and seek solutions, or do they become aggressive and blame others? Effective conflict resolution is a key sign to look for before getting serious in a relationship. This is important because it indicates how your partner will handle conflicts within your relationship. A partner who can manage disagreements constructively is more likely to work towards resolutions and maintain a positive relationship dynamic. For example, if they calmly discuss issues and find mutual solutions during a disagreement with a friend, it shows they can handle conflicts maturely and respectfully in your relationship.

2. Why Are You With This Person?

Reflecting on why you are with your partner is another important step before getting serious in a relationship. Understanding your motivations can help you determine if your relationship is based on genuine affection and compatibility. You want to ask yourself such questions:

Do you feel happy and supported? A healthy relationship should bring joy and support to your life. How to know this? Simply reflect on times when you’ve felt down or stressed. Was your partner there to support and uplift you? If your partner makes you feel valued and loved, it’s a good sign.

Does your partner add value to your life? Think about how your partner contributes to your personal growth and happiness. Do they encourage you to pursue your goals and dreams? In other words, you want to make sure your partner cares about your personal growth and development.

3. Do You Truly Know This Person?

Before committing, ensure that you truly know your partner. This involves seeing them in different situations and understanding their core values and beliefs. For instance,

Have you seen your partner in different situations? Knowing how your partner reacts in various circumstances can provide a deeper understanding of their character. Have you seen them handle stress, joy, disappointment, and success? To do this, spend time with your partner in different settings, such as family gatherings, work events, or social outings. This helps you see different facets of their personality.

Do you understand their values and beliefs? Shared values and beliefs are the foundation of a strong relationship. Make sure you know what they stand for and what they consider important. It is crucial to engage in deep and meaningful conversations about life goals, dreams, and fears. Obviously, this can help you understand if your visions for the future align.

4. Is Your Life Better with This Person?

Evaluating whether your life is better with your partner is an important step before getting serious in a relationship. Consider the overall impact they have on your life. Does this person respect and uplift you? Do you like who you are when you are with them?  There should be a foundation of care and concern that you and your partner have for each other. The way you operate your relationship may vary; some people have one partner or many. Whatever way your relationship is designed is neither here nor there; what matters is that the basics are present, including

• Respect your boundaries and honor your comfort levels
• Care about your well-being
• Encourage you to pursue your dreams and helps you overcome obstacles
• Boost your confidence and possitivity
• Bring you joy, laughter, and stability. 

5. How Does This Person Treat Others?

One of the most telling signs to look for before getting serious in a relationship is how your partner treats others. This includes friends, family, and even strangers. Pay attention to their behavior in various situations. For example, observe how they treat waiters or customer service staff. Are they polite and respectful, or do they tend to be rude and dismissive? This can reveal a lot about who they are.

For example, if your partner is consistently kind and courteous to service staff, it shows they have respect for others, regardless of their role. Meanwhile, notice how they interact with their own friends and family. Are they supportive and caring, or do they show signs of frustration and impatience easily?

These interactions can provide valuable insights into how they might treat you in the long run. A person who is considerate and respectful to others is likely to be a supportive and loving partner. On the contrary, if someone treats other people poorly, there is no guarantee they won’t do the same to you. 

Therapy Can Help with Your Relationship Commitment

At Mind Connections, we understand the importance of evaluating key signs before getting serious in a relationship. Our services are designed to help couples build strong, healthy relationships through effective communication, conflict resolution, and personal growth.

Our Services Include:

• Relationship Counseling: Our counselors can help you and your partner explore your compatibility, values, and long-term goals. We provide tools to improve communication and resolve conflicts.
• Group Therapy: We offer group therapy on topics such as effective communication, understanding your partner, and building a strong foundation for your relationship.
• Individual Counseling: For those who need personal guidance, our individual counseling sessions focus on personal growth, self-awareness, and understanding relationship dynamics.

Examples of Successful Outcomes:

• Enhanced Communication: Many couples who have participated in our counseling sessions report improved communication and a deeper understanding of each other.
• Stronger Bonds: Our workshops have helped couples build stronger, more resilient relationships by addressing potential issues and fostering mutual respect and support.

Content Creator, Victoria Gallo; Reviewed by Dr. June Cao