How to Improve Self-Acceptance

How to Improve Self-Acceptance

  • Have you ever looked in the mirror and wished you could change something about yourself?
  • Do you sometimes feel like you’re not good enough?
  • When you see someone posting their “perfect body” and “perfect vacation,”  you even wish to live their life?

These feelings are common, but they can prevent you from fully accepting who you are. Self-acceptance is about embracing yourself, flaws and all. It’s a crucial part of mental well-being and personal growth. So, why is self-acceptance important, and how can you improve it?

Why You Should Embrace

self-acceptance in the new year

 Self-Acceptance

The Benefits of Self-Acceptance

Accepting yourself has numerous benefits. For one, it significantly improves your mental health. When you practice self-acceptance, you reduce anxiety and depression. For example, if you constantly criticize yourself for not being perfect, you may feel stressed and unhappy. However, if you accept your imperfections, you can focus on your strengths and feel more at peace.

Moreover, self-acceptance enhances your relationships. When you accept yourself, you are more likely to accept others, which can lead to stronger, healthier connections. Truth be told, the big reason your partner or your friends like you is because of who you are. If you constantly reject yourself, what is the likelihood that others will ever accept you or even like you? Actually, if you present yourself as too perfect, chances are others may only want to stay away from you. By practicing self-acceptance, you can offer support to others and foster deeper bonds.

Lastly, self-acceptance increases resilience. Life is full of challenges, but accepting yourself helps you handle setbacks better. For instance, if you have spent enough time searching for jobs, but apparently the poor economy has got in the way, then self-acceptance may help you feel less devastated. You understand that temporary unemployment doesn’t define your worth, and you can bounce back more easily.

Barriers to Self-Acceptance

Despite its benefits, self-acceptance can be challenging. Several barriers often stand in the way.

First, societal pressures play a significant role.

Society often sets unrealistic standards for beauty, success, and behavior, which can make it hard to accept ourselves. For example, social media often showcases “perfect” lives, leading many to feel inadequate in comparison.

Negative self-talk is another common barrier.

Many people have an inner critic that constantly points out their flaws and mistakes. This negative voice can be hard to silence and can significantly hinder self-acceptance. Imagine constantly telling yourself that you’re not smart enough or not attractive enough. Over time, these thoughts can become deeply ingrained.

Past experiences also affect self-acceptance.

Negative experiences, such as bullying or criticism, can leave lasting scars. For instance, a person who was frequently criticized as a child might struggle to see their value as an adult. These past experiences can make it difficult to develop a positive self-view.

Obviously, it is important to embrace self-acceptance at any stage of life. Constantly feeling like you need to change can negatively impact your self esteem and make you feel unworthy the way you are.

Signs that you may be struggling with low self-esteem: 

  • Have constant self doubt, self criticism, and negative self talk
  • Feel overwhelmed with negative thoughts and emotions
  • Think of yourself as unlikeable, unloved, or generally unwanted
  • Apologize unnecessarily and constantly people please
  • Avoid conflicts at all cost, e.g., easily giving in to arguments
  • Take constructive criticism too personally – you think of it as an insult and react emotionally to it
  • Have difficulty making simple decisions and change your mind over and over
  • Are unable to handle a genuine compliment
  • Lack confidence and give up on your goals when you barely started
  • Constantly compare yourself with others and feel incompetent 
  • Feel afraid to contribute your opinion in any conversation
  • Avoid challenges for fear of failure 
  • Are over-sensitive about others’ intention
  • Are overly critical about others, try to control them, and have a strong sense of insecurity
  • Find yourself drawn to destructive friendship and romantic relationships
  • Feel easily depressed and anxious

Strategies to Improve Self-Acceptance

Improving self-acceptance involves several strategies that you can practice daily. Here are some effective methods to help you embrace who you are.

1. Daily Affirmations

Daily affirmations are positive statements that you repeat to yourself to challenge and overcome negative thoughts. For example, you can start each day by saying, “I am worthy of love and respect,” or “I accept myself just as I am.” These affirmations can gradually shift your mindset from self-criticism to self-acceptance. Research shows that affirmations can improve self-esteem and reduce stress, making them a powerful tool for mental health.

2. Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation are practices that help you stay present and focused. They can reduce anxiety and improve self-acceptance by allowing you to observe your thoughts without judgment. For instance, during a mindfulness exercise, you might sit quietly and focus on your breathing. When negative thoughts about yourself arise, acknowledge them, but don’t let them define you. Harvard Health notes that mindfulness can enhance emotional regulation and self-awareness, key components of self-acceptance.

Simple meditation techniques can include:

  • Breathing exercises: Focus on your breath, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly.
  • Body scan: Pay attention to different parts of your body, releasing tension as you go.

3. Journaling

Journaling is another powerful strategy to improve self-acceptance. Writing about your thoughts and feelings can help you gain clarity and perspective. For example, you can keep a gratitude journal where you note down things you appreciate about yourself and your life. This practice can shift your focus from your flaws to your strengths. Start with simple prompts like, “What are three things I did well today?” or “What are my strengths?” Journaling encourages self-reflection and helps you track your progress over time.

4. Self-Compassion Practices

Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend. This means acknowledging your mistakes and flaws without harsh judgment. For instance, if you make a mistake, instead of berating yourself, you could say, “It’s okay to make mistakes. Everyone does. What can I learn from this?” Kristin Neff, a leading researcher in self-compassion, suggests exercises like self-compassion breaks, where you pause and offer yourself words of comfort during difficult times.

5. Accept and Appreciate Your Body

self-acceptance in the new year

Here’s your reminder that you don’t have to change your body.

Many people say that they’re going to get a certain body type. You don’t have to feel pressure to do the same. If you like your body and feel comfortable in it, try embracing it rather than changing it. Do what makes you feel healthy and strong and don’t feel the need to fit other people’s standards or approvals.

Appreciate your body for what you have and what it does for you. Having gratitude for your body and being able to appreciate what it does can help you have more gratitude in your life.

As mentioned in our article, increasing gratitude/acceptance in your lives is one way for you to learn how to accept your body. Body neutrality is a great way to increase these accepting ideals in your life. Body neutrality promotes ideas like:

  • We are so much more than how our bodies look
  • Our physical appearance is not the most important or interesting thing about us
  • Our bodies deserve respect even when we don’t like how it looks at the moment

These ideas help us accept our bodies for what they are and do for us. Our worth becomes more focused on who we are as a person rather than how we look. Many people who promote body neutrality believe that body positivity is a great goal to strive for, but neutrality helps people accept themselves even when they don’t feel too positive. As a goal for this year, try learning more about body neutrality. 

6. Have Patience with Your Journey

Change can feel very definitive and major, but a lot of times when we want to change, it can take time and we need to have patience. Sometimes growth happens very slowly, and you shouldn’t measure happiness based on it. You should be proud of the progress you are making, and change may be gradual. Sometimes, it may not feel like you changed a lot, but in reality, making small steps is progress. For example, you may want to go to therapy to work on your anger management. After some time, you may not be perfect at managing your anger, but what matters is that you took the steps to go to therapy and to make small steps.

7. Make Realistic Goals with Achievements, Milestones, and Relationships 

self-acceptance in the new year

Part of having self-acceptance is being realistic with what you have. We all need things in life and have to consume products. You may have goals to buy lavish things or to redo your wardrobe, etc. It is okay to have these goals, but make sure that it is financially okay with you. You don’t need to buy everything that everyone else has. We live in a hyper-consumerist society, and it influences people to buy a lot. Don’t feel like you have to buy things and buy things that you need in your budget.

One goal many people set is to get into a relationship or finally fall in love. As much as you may want this to happen, have a healthy understanding of this idea. Don’t feel inadequate if you don’t find someone or are single, and don’t push yourself to be in situations just because you need to reach that goal. Do what comes naturally for you and what makes you feel comfortable.

Listen to your gut and know that you are not inferior for not having someone and reaching milestones like getting married or having a baby. It may feel like other people are moving ahead in life, and you’re sitting still. If you feel that way, don’t worry because everyone moves at a different pace and everyone’s life is different. You will reach milestones in your own time, and it will be right for you and your journey.

Remember to give yourself healthy timelines to reach them and have patience.

8. Start Embracing Who You are Now

self-acceptance in the new year

Accept yourself for who you are now, and you’ll never feel satisfied when you reach anything. You have to love the person you are, or you will never feel content. Embracing gratitude for yourself and your life can help you in this journey.

Try to be more present in your life instead of planning ahead for everything, but just live the life you have now and make the steps each day to do something.

Realize that social media is people’s highlight reels, and they only post things that make them look good. Don’t compare yourself to others because you will miss out on who you are in the process! This is an important step in having self-acceptance.

Talk to a Therapist About Self-Acceptance

If you struggle with accepting yourself, it may be time to seek professional help and support. Our therapists and counselors at Mind Connections provide a supportive environment to explore and address issues related to self-acceptance. Our therapists will help you understand the root causes of your self-criticism and develop strategies to overcome them. For example, we may use cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to help you identify and change negative thought patterns that hinder self-acceptance. Our therapists can also help you build self-esteem and confidence in who you are.

Our therapists support anyone who feels marginalized or harmed by our society. We support all people and are allied with the LGBTQ+ community. Our team also has extensive experience working with Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders. Our team has a profound understanding of Asian cultural values, and we can speak a variety of languages, including English and Chinese Mandarin and Cantonese. Call us now to learn more about how we can help you gain self-acceptance!

Content Creator, Victoria Gallo; Reviewed by Dr. June Cao

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