Do I need to see a therapist or psychologist? What are the reasons I should go to therapy? What can a therapist do to help me? From time to time, we as therapists hear people ask these questions. Indeed, mental health can be tricky because it is invisible; it can sometimes disguise itself as headaches, exhaustion or other physical ailments. This can be especially hard to determine if you are dealing with issues that have been present for a long time. In fact, seeking therapy does not mean that you are “broken” or that you have “failed”. Sometimes you just need help, and that’s ok. Maintaining mental health is a part of self-care, and seeking help is not only responsible, it is freeing because you are not doing this alone.

When should I see a therapist?

1. You have been feeling stuck.

People all go through periods of time when you feel like you are stuck in a rut. No matter how hard you try, you feel stagnant and simply cannot get anywhere. This could lead to feelings of helplessness and powerlessness. At times you could spend tremendous amount of time like hours every day thinking and ruminating, but could not figure out clearly why you’re stuck, and how to cope with the issue. 

2. Your daily life and functioning is being affected negatively. 

Your mental health could interfere with your daily activities including school, work, and relationships. For example, you may

• have trouble sleeping at night or find yourself hard to get out of bed everyday;
• lose your appetite or binge eat emotionally;
• choose to isolate yourself and stop communicating with your friends and family;
• find yourself trying to avoid others or the world;
• find it difficult to concentrate or get work done;
• lose interest in what you used to enjoy doing; and
• even lose your sex drive.

3. You have done your research but still have not figured out clearly.

How many times have you searched Dr. Google questions such as, 

• “What are the symptoms of OCD?” 
• “Why do I always get angry?” 
• “Do I have eating disorder?” or 
• “How to have a healthy relationship?” 

Perhaps you got some vague answers but are still not sure. Sometimes you have even been to different medical doctors, and yet have not got a clear answer to what happened to you. Finally one doctor said, this may be a mental health issue. Do you want to see a psychologist? 

4. Your own coping is not healthy or does not work well.

Apparently the changes you have made or the strategies you have developed

to cope with the issue can be counter productive. A typical coping you may use is to isolate yourself from your family and friends. It temporarily helps you to reduce the embarrassment and anxiety of interacting with others; however, it could lead to more loneliness, self-pity, and other negative thoughts. This in turn could be the recipe for depression. In particular, self-harm behaviors or dependence on alcohol and drugs as a coping mechanism are causes for concern as well. On the other hand, therapy offers a way to learn more healthy ways to cope with your problems. Developing more positive habits further strengthens your mental fortitude so that you can better face daily challenges.

5. Your quality of life has decreased.

Maybe something traumatic has happened recently, perhaps you have experienced the loss of a loved one, a pet, a job, or a relationship, or maybe you had childhood trauma that you have never had the chance to process but it still haunts you now. When you deal with emotional difficulties, not only will your physical health be affected, but your quality of life is likely to decrease. It is hard to feel happy again.

6. Your regular support system is not working any more.

Without a doubt, it is great to have family members or a friend you can confide in. They are often the first people to know your troubles and your secrets. However, sometimes they are too close to the problems. Truth be told, you may be afraid to show them how you feel because their advice, though well intentioned, can be too subjective, judgmental, and leave you feeling empty. Guidance and planning from a professional can provide you with the steps you need to maintain your own mental health. You may need someone with an outside perspective. Indeed, professionals can give an objective assessment of your struggles and assist you in getting the support you need for your well-being.

What can I get out of seeing a therapist?

1. Better understanding and insight of yourself.

First and foremost, therapists evaluate you, listen to you, and help you to connect the dots. With a better understanding and insight, you could have a clearer picture of why you adopt a certain thinking process, why you tend to have the same behaviors, why you fall for the same type of partner, and why you stay in the same relationship pattern even if it does not work. Indeed, a good therapist will help you to identify the surface as well as the root cause of the problems, guide you to the right direction for you to make necessary changes.

2. Accomplish your goals.

Apparently your therapist will ask you about the goals you would like to achieve in therapy. Perhaps you are clear about it and your therapist will assist you to come up with a plan to achieve them. Even if you are not fully sure about what you want to achieve, that is ok too. Chances are your therapist will help you to clarify them and set realistic steps to achieve them. From time to time your therapist will also revisit your goals  to make sure you are on the right track.

3. Healthy relationships.

Many times you may find yourself eager to please people, being a pushover or doormat, having a hard time setting boundaries, falling in toxic relationships repeatedly. In therapy, your psychologist can help you to address such difficulties with relating to others. In a nutshell, therapy could assist you to connect with others in healthy relationships by examining communication problems, trust issues, and insecurity. Ultimately, you will learn to say No assertively, express your emotions appropriately, and handle conflicts confidently.

4. Better health.

Research has repeatedly shown direct association between physical health and emotional wellbeing, that is, the mind and body wellness is inseparable. It goes without saying that poor physical health can lead to high risks of mental health problems. Pain, for example, is usually correlated to depression. Similarly, mental health issues can increase the likelihood of physical health problems. Chronic stress, for instance, often leads to cardiological problems, hypertension, skin issues, and physical pain. Therefore, when your mental health issues are being treated timely and properly, chances are your physical health will improve accordingly.

5. Improved quality of life.

Therapy can help you to address certain issues that hold you back in your life. Sometimes you may not be 100% sure why you get stuck; other times you may not know what you can do to make your life better. You may have a good job or achieved “success” in other people’s eyes, however, you know what it is like to have sleepless nights or feel unhappy. Your therapist will help you to find your self-worth, and live the great life you deserve.