The UN described violence against women as the “shadow pandemic.” Indeed, the world saw a rise in violence towards women and girls to increase since the pandemic started; this is why domestic violence prevention is crucial to talk about!
In particular, nowadays many people are facing job layoffs and potential unemployment. According to the Domestic Violence Awareness Project, poverty, unemployment, and economic recession may increase the risk of domestic violence. The questions is, how can we protect ourselves and others from the harmful and sometimes fatal effects of domestic violence?
Signs of Domestic Violence and Abuse
In order to protect ourselves and our loved ones, we first need to be able to recognize the signs of a toxic or abusive relationship. Here are signs of an unhealthy relationship, toxic behaviors, and signs of abuse.
Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
Some behaviors may be precursors of intimate partner violence. In our article, 9 Signs You May Be In An Unhealthy Relationship, we mention indicators that your relationship is not healthy. No relationship, no matter how great it appears, is perfect. Each relationship is unique with its own ups and downs. Overall, a healthy relationship should make you feel good about yourself and the connection you have with your partner. However, unhealthy moments and behaviors consume the majority of the relationship, this can signify that it is in an unhealthy state.
Furthermore, signs of an unhealthy relationship can form early on or appear over time, and it’s not always easy to recognize them. Unhealthy relationship signs can include jealousy, lack of trust, constant arguing and fighting, and losing the spark. If you or someone you know is experiencing these signs, it’s important to address them to maintain a healthy relationship.
Toxic Behaviors of a Partner
Some behaviors are completely unacceptable for your partner, or anyone you know, to do. Here are some toxic behaviors to look out for. Recognizing harmful signs can help educate people and increase domestic violence prevention:
Manipulation and Controlling Behaviors:
Your partner will do anything to get what they want, even if that means lying or misleading you to do so. They play games with your emotions, constantly holding things over you, bringing up past mistakes to make you feel bad, playing victim, or urging you to act, think, or behave a certain way. Your partner will try to control you by doing things like spying on you, going through your phones, and telling you who you can and can’t talk to.
Isolating You From Your Loved Ones
Many abusers will try to separate you from the people who care about you. Your partner wants to control you completely and be the only person you rely on in life.
Charming Others With Bad Intentions:
According to Psychology Today, “Abusers often groom friends, family, and others to overlook signs of abuse and cut ties with the victim.” These people may act charming as a way to disguise their behaviors in plane sight.
Not Respecting boundaries:
Moreover, your partnercrosses boundaries constantly. They do not respect your time, needs, or comfort levels. They disregard, don’t take it seriously, or don’t ask for consent.
Emotional Blackmail:
Your partner tries to influence your feelings and emotions. In particular, they make you feel scared, obligated, or simply terrible for your own decisions. By convincing you to do things you don’t feel comfortable doing, they can better control you.
Gaslighting:
Your partner might also twist reality to make you second-guess yourself. In an abusive relationship, the gaslighter may do something abusive and then deny it. They say things like “you are just too sensitive”, or “are you crazy?”
Love bombing:
Lastly, love bombing is when a relationship comes on too strong too fast, or too good to be true. That is to say, the foundation of a relationship is not there, and yet they are trying to make you feel you are destined to be together in a committed relationship.
Types of Domestic Abuse
Overall, abuse can come in many forms. REACH reports that there are 6 different types of abuse, physical, sexual, verbal/emotional, mental/psychological, financial/economic, cultural/identity.
Physical and sexual abuse affect somebody’s body in harmful ways.The person can experience physical harm or injury or non consensual sexual activity. Emotional and mental/psychological abuse is a form of abuse that may not be physically seen but it is just as dangerous and harmful to someone’s mental health.
Someone experiencing this abuse can go through belittling, constant criticism, getting cursed/screamed at, or being threatened. When experiencing mental/psychological abuse, the abuser uses tactics that cause manipulation, gaslighting, or threats. When someone restricts or manipulates another person’s access to funds, resources, or economic chances in order to exert power and control over them, this is referred to as financial or economic abuse. Abuse that is stems from a victim’s race, ethnicity, faith, gender identity, or sexual orientation is referred to as cultural/identity abuse.
Signs Your Loved One Might Be Being Abused
There are many ways to tell if someone you love is in a dangerous situation. You know your friend or family member well and know how they usually act; if you start noticing their behaviors changing, their mood shifting, or their overall presence seemingly being dimmed, trust your gut. Look out for physical signs of abuse like any bruises or marks on their body or sudden unexplained injuries.
Furthermore, look out for your loved one’s personality changing in odd or uncommon ways. For example, your friend who was always joyful and energetic now seems quiet, nervous, and jumpy when you see them. You notice that they flinch when their partner is around or seem like they are being constantly controlled or put down by the person they are dating. As mentioned before, abusers often isolate victims from their loved ones; if your friend seems withdrawn or constantly flakey, this can be a sign that their partner is affecting them.
How to Fight Against the Rise of Domestic Violence
First, Spread Awareness
Spreading awareness can fight against the rise of domestic violence and is important for domestic violence prevention. Some people don’t realize they are in a toxic situation until it is shown to them; it’s hard for them to look at their situation for what it is because they may be looking at the situation with rose-colored glasses. Some people care so much about their partner that they overlook the major flaws they may be showing. It is important to remind people that it is no one but the abuser’s fault that abuse is happening. The abuser is 100% responsible for all of their actions.
However, by spreading awareness about the signs or abusive or toxic relationships and partners it can help someone who is in a challenging situation see what is going on around them for what it really is. You can share resources or information about the signs of domestic violence with others on your social media pages or write blog posts about domestic violence prevention and awareness.
Second, Offer to Help Your Loved Ones
If you are concerned that your loved one is in an abusive situation and you want to help them you know that it can be a delicate and challenging process. It is critical to handle this situation with empathy, understanding, and support.
Try and find a safe place and time to share your concerns with your loved one. Let them know that you worry for their security and well-being and then offer to listen without passing judgment. Let them know that they can always come to you and that you will never judge them for anything they tell you. Be patient with them; remember that this is your loved one’s journey and that they need to navigate their path in their own time. Your friend may break up with their partner only to return a few days later; try not to judge and instead be supportive.
If your friend is really ready to leave, try and assist them in developing a safety plan, which may include finding a secure place to stay, getting counseling or legal assistance, and developing a support system. Remind them that ending the relationship is a courageous and significant move toward a healthier and safer future and encourage them to contact professional resources like hotlines and support groups.
Third, Speak Out Against Anti-Women Rhetoric and Stigma
Misogynistic ideas seem to be plaguing the internet, especially in the past few years. Misogynistic influencers like Andrew Tate rose in popularity and fame while spreading harmful messages about how to treat and look at women. We need to take the rise in anti-women rhetoric on the internet seriously. Some people may look at offensive comments or jokes about women to be harmless but they actually can be contributing to harmful ideals and actions taken against women.
Jokes and remarks that are misogynistic can help to normalize and support aggression against women in society. On the surface, these jokes and remarks might seem innocent, but they frequently support negative gender stereotypes and foster a hostile environment for women. Men who make disparaging remarks about women objectify them and convey the message that they are inferior, which can justify violence against them. These kinds of jokes and remarks can also give males the feeling that they have the right to dominate and control women, which can lead to physical violence. In order to encourage regard, equality, and dignity for all genders, it is crucial to oppose and denounce misogynistic jokes and comments.
Fourth, Seek Domestic Violence Therapy
Truth be told, it could be difficult to leave an abusive relationship. Even if a survivor leaves the abusive partner, mental health issues could arise, including depression, anxiety, PTSD, and stress. This is why domestic abuse counseling is important. At Mind Connections, our therapists provide support and treatment for survivors to heal emotionally, gain confidence back, and rebuild their life.
In addition, our therapists in NYC will create a safe and confidential environment where the survivor feels comfortable sharing their experiences. Building trust is paramount, as survivors may have deep-seated fears and anxieties related to their abuse. Domestic violence therapy often involves a combination of individual counseling and group therapy, allowing survivors to connect with others who have shared similar experiences. Techniques such as Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) may be used to help survivors recognize and change negative thought patterns. Safety planning, empowerment strategies, and trauma-informed care are also essential components of domestic violence therapy.
Fifth, Check Out Resources for Domestic Violence Prevention
Get help to leave or end an unhealthy relationship
If you are in an abusive situation or have unhealthy relationship signs that are threatening, please seek support. Here are some links provided by the NCADV:
Always remember that there is hope. You deserve to be treated with nothing but love and respect ALWAYS! Help promote domestic violence prevention today!
