What to Talk About in Therapy
Imagine this scenario. You just scheduled your first session with a therapist. You had a consultation with them and went over the basics of what you’d be interested in treating. The therapist seemed friendly and welcoming to talk to. There’s only one problem: you are so nervous! What can you expect? What will you talk about? You keep googling “things to talk about in therapy.”
If you’ve never been to therapy before, it is understandable to be nervous. The thought of being vulnerable with a person you just met seems very intimidating and challenging to do. This article will go over ways to prepare for a therapy session and what you can potentially talk about. If you’re interested, keep reading!
Therapy Misconceptions
You may have horror stories about people going to therapy. This section will go over common myths floating around going to therapy. Maybe you have heard some of these ideas before that have made you question if treatment is for you. We are here to clear these worries up!
~ “My Therapist is Going to Judge Me”
Some people may look at therapists as judging them and their actions. When you go to therapy, you are bearing your inner feelings and emotions to this person. It can take some getting used, especially if you are usually the person taking care of other people. It can be hard to open up and share your emotions. Remember that a therapist is there to help you! They are not there to judge you or make you feel like a bad person. A therapist will listen to you vent about your situations in a safe space and guide you in improving your life.
~ “Therapy is for Weak People”
Going to therapy does not make you weak at all! It takes strength to acknowledge that you want to improve areas in your life. Going to treatment allows you to look at things you want help with or desire to change your life and do the work to achieve those goals!
Also, asking for help does not make you weak either. We all need help from time to time. Humans are social creatures – we thrive from human connection and socializing. Getting help from another human is basically programmed within us!
~ “Therapy Doesn’t Work”
Regardless of what doubters may say, therapy has been proven to work. For example, 17.3 million adults have been through at least one major depressive episode in their lifetime. Research shows that up to 80% of people treated for depression show an improvement in their symptoms after about four to six weeks of treatment. Some other examples: CBT has been shown to help people with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), and DBT is effective for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
Things to Talk about In Therapy
You can talk about anything in therapy! It can be helpful to think of the past, present, and future. Let’s examine each tense of your life:
1. Your Past can be a Therapy Topic
Think about your past. Ask yourself these questions:
- How was my childhood?
- Did I have a healthy upbringing? What memories come up when I think of my parents or siblings?
- Did I experience any traumatic instances or trauma in my life?
As mentioned in our article about healing your inner child, reports showed that there are “656,000 (rounded) victims of child abuse and neglect” in the United States. Reports also indicate that abuse comes in many forms: neglect, physical, sexual, or emotional abuse. These experiences can have lasting effects on someone for the rest of their life.
You may have had a parent who was a narcissist. This parent wanted absolute control over you and constantly put you down or lowered your self-esteem to do so. In another scenario, you may have had a close friend growing up that you ended up falling out of touch with, AKA a friend breakup. This breakup hurt a lot and is still something that causes you to lack trust and faith in the friends you have nowadays.
2. Talk about Your Present in Therapy
Think about your life currently. Ask yourself these questions:
- Am I happy with how my life is right now?
- Is there anything I’d like to change in my day-to-day habits?
- Do I like the person I am or have become?
- How do I feel each day? Happy? Sad? Anxious? Depressed?
There may be things you aren’t happy with within your life. For example, maybe you are struggling with your body image and obsess over certain features you have. This fixation causes you to be unhappy each day and worried that people are looking at you and seeing all the insecurities you are trying to hide.
Another example: You are finding it hard to handle your emotions recently. You constantly feel overwhelmed and find yourself unable to control your emotions or anger healthily. These areas of your life make you feel sad, and you really want to improve them.
3. Your Future can be a Therapy Topic
Think about your future. Ask yourself these questions:
- What do I want to do with my life in terms of a career?
- What would make me happy five years from now?
- Who do I want to be in my future? Who do I want to be with me?
- What do I want to achieve moving forward?
Planning for the future can be stressful and make you nervous. You may be a teen worrying about SAT scores, college, and what you will major in. You may even be in your twenties and worrying about similar things! It can take people a long time to figure out what they want to do with their lives and who they want to be.
One thing many people worry about when it comes to their future is relationships, marriage, and starting families. You may feel pressure being single and worry about the future possibilities of you settling down with someone. What if it doesn’t happen? Will I be alone?
4. Other Specific Topics To Talk About In Therapy
Your therapy session can be about whatever you want! Talk about what is on your mind and weighing on your heart. Some miscellaneous topics might include:
- Your recent sadness or change in mood
- Sometimes feelings come up, and we don’t understand where they appeared from or why they are there in the first place. Share any symptoms or new feelings you’ve been experiencing with your therapist
- Constantly comparing yourself to others even though you don’t know why
- Your relationship status
- Whether you are single, looking, or dating someone, you can talk about any of these stages in therapy. For example, you may be worried you or a loved one are in a toxic relationship
- Talk about breakups – romantic and platonic.
- Communication issues you face in your relationships
- A worry or fear you face each day
- You feel like something terrible will happen to you or your loved one if you don’t carry out a specific compulsion
- Areas in life you wish you were better in
- Communication, trusting others, setting boundaries, etc.
- Work or school stress
- You are facing work burnout and need to find ways to cope
- Struggles with self-compassion and forgiveness
- We all make mistakes – we are only human! However, there may be things in your life that you feel guilt over and refuse to forgive yourself for. This makes it hard for you to move on and heal properly.
5. Things To Talk About In Therapy When Life Seems Pretty Calm
There may be times when you feel like life is going pretty well. No problem has come up in the past week since you’ve seen your therapist that you want to talk about. In these scenarios, you can talk about:
- Goals you’d like to set or keep working towards through therapy
- Plans you want to make for the future and how to go about achieving them
- Ways to handle any future situations that could arise and disrupt your peace
Remember not to put too much pressure on yourself when going to therapy. Many people may feel like they need to know exactly what they want to talk about before going into each session. As we know, life usually doesn’t ever go exactly as expected. You may start talking about topics that lead you to a topic you never thought about touching. Also, remember that the therapist is there to help guide you and speak with you throughout the session. The pressure of the session does not fall solely on you!
6. Tips for a Good Therapy Session
Here are some tips for a productive and helpful therapy session:
- There are some essential pointers to note if you are doing online therapy. Make sure you:
- Have stable wifi, a safe place to express your emotions, a charged device, comfortable seating arrangements, a quiet environment
- Write down things you feel like you learned from each session or ideas you liked that your therapist pointed out
- Have open communication with your therapist
- Sometimes, a therapists will say something you didn’t necessarily like or agree with. That is okay! Don’t be afraid to bring up the topic. Express how you feel, and you two can talk about it more together
- Be honest and real
- There is no reason to put up a front or act with a therapist. You may be used to being the “fun friend” or the person who always makes sure everyone else is okay. In therapy, these things aren’t necessary. Focus on showing how you actually feel and not holding back. This raw realness will help you see results that will actually help you tackle any issues you face
Consider Therapy
If you face any of the struggles or issues mentioned in this article, therapy can benefit you! You can receive therapy for any topic ranging from relationship issues to healing childhood trauma. Finding a therapist that specializes in the certain issues you want to discuss is important! As mentioned before, you can choose whatever topic you want to talk about in each session.
Our team at Mind Connections wants to support you! Our therapists can help you find ways to cope with any issues you are facing, grow/improve as a person, and develop healthier relationships with yourself and others. You deserve to live a happier and healthier life. Call us now to learn more!
Content Creator, Victoria Gallo; Reviewed by Dr. June Cao
You know what you’re talking about in therapy, just like what you want to say to an old friend