What to Do When You Feel Stuck
- Are you feeling stuck or unmotivated?
- Do you feel like more is out there for you, and you are waiting to unlock it?
- Wondering what to do when you feel stuck or how to get unstuck?
Feeling stuck in life, is like a hamster running in the same wheel over and over again; it is indeed a dull and uneventful cycle. You keep repeating the same motions, and are bored with the repetitive nature of each day. You try to move on, but eventually feel more overwhelmed, anxious, and even depressed, especially if you don’t see the a light of hope at the end of the tunnel.
Why Do You Feel Stuck in Life?
Why do you feel stuck in life in the first place? Why can’t life continuously feel exciting and fresh? What is bringing people into this cycle of repetitiveness and boredom?
Depression
Some symptoms of depression include being unmotivated, having low energy, and losing pleasure in activities or interests you once enjoyed. When someone is depressed, they may find themselves sleeping a lot more than usual or struggling to complete their normal routine (like keeping up with their hygiene, schedule, important deadlines, etc.).
Other symptoms of depression can include:
Depression symptoms
- Feeling sad, lonely, helpless, hopeless
- Having an underlying feeling of emptiness
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Experiencing a reduced appetite and weight loss, or increased appetite and weight gain
- Having agitation and irritability
- Finding it difficult to concentrate, remember, or make decisions
- Having thoughts of suicide or about dying
Someone can develop depression for a variety of reasons. Researchers often say that depression can be caused by a chemical imbalance in someone’s brain. People with a family history of depression may also face an increased risk of developing symptoms. Certain life events can be challenging to navigate (like losing a loved one, job, friend, etc.) and can trigger depression.
Anxiety
People may feel stuck in life because of their anxiety. Anxiety is a mental, emotional, and physical condition. People who have anxiety feel affected by it in so many different areas of their life. They may deal with constant worrying thoughts while feeling anxiety’s physical effects through shortness of breath or chest pain. People with anxiety can experience constant nervousness, overthinking, and fears that something terrible will happen to them or impending doom.
Social anxiety makes someone continually fear that others may scrutinize them or that they will make a fool of themselves. In turn, this constant worry leads to dread and even avoidance of social interaction, such as parties, public speeches, or ceremonies.
Someone with social anxiety can feel held back because of their anxious thoughts and fears. They may feel stuck in their old, comfortable routine because they are too afraid to break out of their shell and try something new.
Feeling Stuck in Your Career
A draining job can bring anyone feelings of stuckness. Your dislike or boredom for your job may cause you to wonder what to do when you feel stuck and how to cope with these feelings.
You may feel stuck in the job you have now. You feel unmotivated with the tasks you are working on. Your boss makes you feel small, unappreciated, or under-utilized. Your co-workers create a hostile or unhappy work environment, and you feel like no one has your back.
The MayoClinic defines job burnout as work-related stress that exhausts people physically and emotionally. The stress of work becomes overbearing in the worker’s life. Notably, according to researchers, people with burnout face intense exhaustion, aversion to their job, and meaninglessness in their work. Job burnout takes the enjoyment someone once had for their career and squashes it in its tracks.
Feeling Stuck in a Relationship
Being in an unhappy or unhealthy relationship can make you feel stuck in life. It can be draining to deal with someone who is not compatible with you. Constant fights, jealousy, lack of trust, or cheating can all contribute to feelings of stuckness in your life and relationship.
You may feel stuck because you don’t want to leave this person – you share a lot of history, live together, have the same friends, or made a life together. It can be challenging to break things off with someone who is a big part of your life, even if you know it’s time to let go and move on. You may also feel stuck because you fear making the wrong choice and are too afraid to take that leap.
Self-Esteem Issues
Similar to people with anxiety holding them back, people with self-esteem issues may feel the same way. Specifically, low self-esteem can make someone feel like they are not good enough/worthless, compare themselves to others, and doubt their capabilities.
Someone with low self-esteem might hold themselves back because they fear being judged or don’t feel good enough. Since they don’t believe in their capabilities, other people find it hard to do the same.
What to Do When You Feel Stuck
When you get in a rut, you may feel it’s because of external stressors. Hence you will wait for external change to happen. However, change doesn’t happen to us, it comes from within us. That is, getting emotionally unstuck requires internal work. Here is how:
1. Ask Yourself Why
If you feel stuck in life, bored with what you are doing, or unmotivated, it is time to check in with yourself. Ask yourself these questions:
- When did I start feeling this way?
- What could be making me feel this way? (my job, relationship, etc.)
- How do I feel each day? How do I feel in my daily routine?
- When was the last time I felt inspired or motivated?
- What could make me feel inspired or hopeful for the future?
You can journal with these questions and use that as a tool to explore your emotions further. Do you feel connected to any of the reasons in the, “Why Do People Feel Stuck in Life” section? Do you relate to the symptoms of depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, job burnout, or an unhealthy relationship?
Admitting to these feelings or that you are in a situation that makes you feel stuck can be intimidating but don’t worry! Once you identify the root of a problem, you can start solving it.
2. Look for Inspiration
When you feel stuck, it helps you try and find new inspiration in your life. Think of what used to inspire you. Did you feel inspired by a specific book you read? Go read another book from this author. Did you feel encouraged to paint by looking at the colors of the sky in the sunset? If so, sit outside tonight and watch the sun go down with your paint kit. Did you feel inspired by a particular person in your life? Reach out to them and talk about how you feel.
If the old things that inspired you aren’t making you feel that way anymore, try to find inspiration from new things, experiences, and activities.
3. Try Something New
As mentioned in the past section, trying new things can help you feel less stuck and more motivated. Trying a new hobby or joining a new activity can help you not only explore your interests but meet new people and hopefully feel inspired. Meeting new people can help you expand your circle and make new friendships or relationships. These relationships may be better and healthier for you than the ones you have in your life and allow you to have new experiences with new people!
4. Ask for Help and Lean on Others
Don’t be afraid to ask for advice from other people or lean on your support system. For instance, if you are feeling confused about your job and whether or not you want to change your career path, talking to someone in your field or a similar line of work can help. Ask this person if they could provide any advice and address concerns or questions you may be facing. Be open to their perspective and see if it can help you find some clarity.
5. Let Go of What is No Longer Serving You
Although it can be challenging, sometimes you need to let go of what is no longer serving you or bringing you happiness in life. If a relationship or friendship constantly brings you down and negatively impacts your life, it can be time to let go. You deserve to be with people who improve your life, not harm your peace.
Furthermore, the same idea is relevant when thinking about your career. Does your job make you happy? Do you dread going to work every day? Does burnout feel like it’s going to develop? If so, it may be time to start looking for a new job. If you don’t have the ability to leave your job right now, think of what changes you can make in your life to make your situation better. Try establishing a productive morning routine, implementing more work-life balance, not checking your emails after a certain time, etc.
6. Change Your Perspective
You may feel stuck in life because you have a hard time accepting reality. In other words, you think you “should” be something that you are not; or life “shouldn’t” be like this. This kind of “tug of war” usually represents the kind of control you want to have, but in fact, there are too many things you have no control over. That is why it is very important to change your perspective to accept the things you cannot control. This seems to be the only way out.
7. Do Some Self-Improvement or Try Therapy
When we feel stuck in life, working on ourselves and our goals can help motivate us. Think about goals you’d like to accomplish or set. How can you go about achieving them? In what ways can you start putting these plans in motion? Here are some ways that can help you:
- Think about any goals you’d like to achieve or ways you’d like to change your life for the better
- You can use journal prompts to explore your feelings. You could also make a vision board – a vision board is a fun way to visualize what you want in the future to happen. People take all different types of photos and make a collage depicting what they aim for their future to look like
- Watch motivational shows or listen to inspiring podcasts or speakers
- Make playlists of songs that pump you up, make you feel good, or motivate you
- Join new groups that you are interested in to meet new like-minded people
- Network with people who inspire you or are doing things you’d like to learn more about
If you notice that your feelings of stuckness are stemming from depression, anxiety, or low self-esteem, therapy can help you! Therapy can help you find healthy ways to cope with what you are going through, receive effective support, and face what you are going through in a safe space.
Our team at Mind Connections wants to help people who are feeling stuck or uninspired in life! Our coaching can help empower you to set positive and purposeful goals, improve your performance, and learn to move towards goals. Call us to learn more!
Content Creator, Victoria Gallo; Reviewed by Dr. June Cao
Waiting patiently, you’ll unstuck
When I feel stuck, I find meditation really helpful