We all have emotions. When emotions such as anger get intense, we may experience an emotional turmoil and act in the way we may regret later. So this is the time we need emotion regulation. What is emotion regulation?  Emotion regulation is the process of “monitoring, evaluating, and modifying” one’s emotions. That is, the goal is to control or deal with emotions in a healthy way. When you use skills to regulate your emotions such as anger and fear, you tend to have more appropriate response to stressors.

However, some people may face difficulties in managing emotions flexibly and effectively, the so-called emotion dysregulation. After all, we have our own ways to express emotions. When you are being triggered, your emotions may be easily out of control, or you find yourself having a hard time calming down. If this happens often, it is likely that you are dealing with emotion regulation difficulties.

Signs of Emotion Regulation Difficulties

Do I have emotion regulation difficulties? To answer this question, it is important to know signs of emotion dysregulation. They may include:

• Self harm behaviors
• Excessive shame 
• Anger outburst
• Behavior outburst such as throwing or destroying objects
• High-risk sexual behaviors
• Difficulty with close relationships
• Substance use
• Disordered eating
• Unfounded fear of abandonment
• Suicide thoughts, threats, and attempts

What Causes Emotion Dysregulation

Emotional dysregulation can be associated with an experience of early trauma, brain injury, child abuse, neglect, bully, etc.  Meanwhile, emotional dysregulations are key factors of many psychological issues and behavior problems such as:

• Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD)
• Bipolar Disorder
• Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
• Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
• Eating Disorders
• Drug or Alcohol Use
• Autism
• Generalized Anxiety Disorder
• Social Anxiety
• Depression

Many people use emotion suppression to regulate emotions. Namely, it is a way of avoiding the emotions you have or pushing them away to prevent showing their effect on you. People will usually shove their feelings away or “suck it up”. This might decrease outward expressions of emotion; however, it does not reduce the inner emotional experience. That is, suppression only causes more pain rather than making the emotions go away.

Who May have Emotion Regulation Issue

People with Borderline Personality Disorder

When people have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), they tend to have intense emotion and are unable to manage it effectively. Such intense emotions may include extreme episodes of depression, anxiety, anger, and shame. As a result, these emotional struggles lead to a distorted self-image,  problems regulating thoughts, impulsive and sometimes reckless behaviors, and unstable relationships. In general, people with BPD tend to have self-injury such as cutting, fear of abandonment, difficulties regulating intense emotions, and constant struggles, conflicts, or “push or pull” in close relationships. 

Emotion Regulation in Adolescents and Young Adults

Having issues with emotional regulation can affect the well-being of adolescents and young adults. In fact, research shows that the increased difficulty to control emotions may be linked to higher symptoms of depression and anxiety. These issues are prevalent in young adults with gaming addiction. In one study, for example, young adults with Internet Gaming Disorder (IGD) experienced less cognitive reappraisal and suppression. These people experienced more symptoms of “depression, anxiety, and hostility.”

Adolescents with ADHD can feel emotions more intensely and struggle with self-regulation. For instance, they may scream for an hour because they dropped some food; or suddenly cry and hit their head because there is change in the environment. Dr. Nicole O’Brien suggests that parents can help teens with ADHD to point out triggering situations or stressors such as anger and anxiety. This can help teens to create strategies to react when these situations arrive. Overall, it helps them to maintain interpersonal relationships and wellness. 

Emotional Regulation in People with Alexithymia

Alexithymia is a word that describes the inability for someone to “identify, experience, verbally describe, and reflect on one’s own emotions.” People on the autism spectrum may experience alexithymia. 

Emotional Regulation in People with Eating Disorders

People with eating disorders may not only desire to change their body, but also engage in disordered eating to change their emotions.  They may bing eat to reduce stress and lift their mood; restrict food intake to reduce painful feelings; and exercise excessively to control fear or desperation. One study found that people with disordered eating experienced more alexithymia, as well. This research also revealed that people with Binge Eating Disorder contained high levels of “emotional dysregulation and negative mood.”

Simple Strategies to Regulate your Emotions

Mindfulness Practices

Mindfulness practices can help you to cope with your emotions more effectively and in healthy ways. Specially, mindfulness is all about experiencing the current moment for what it is. When you practice mindfulness, you take each moment as it comes, not looking to over-examine or explain it. 

Mindfulness practice can help you to view your emotions from a more detached perspective. That is, it is useful in emotional regulation because it helps you to better experience the present moment. As we all know, rumination makes you constantly experience negative feelings. By practicing mindful detachment, you are able to not only prevent yourself from ruminating on a stressful event, but also tune into your emotions better. 

With this in mind, one way to practice mindfulness is through meditation. Meditation is all about reaching harmony in oneself and entering a peaceful state. Guided meditation is a meditation that is led by another person. In her video, Dr. June Cao can help you to learn to pay attention to your breathing, clear your mind, and feel more relaxed.

Cognitive Reappraisal

Cognitive reappraisal is a process of altering the way you think about or perceive a situation. It is an important technique to decrease the intensity of emotions. Furthermore, this reframing can help someone to accept or cope with an upsetting event in a healthier way. For example, if someone was rude to you, you may start to think that it is because everyone hates you or because you are unlikeable. A way to reframe this situation can be to consider that this person may have had a bad day and is lashing out at you in response to their unhappiness. This process attempts to reduce the negative emotions someone feels.

Treat Your Body Right

1. Aerobic Exercise

A study by Zhang et al. found that exercise helped to improve implicit emotional regulation. This research suggested that these aerobic fitness practices affected parts of the brain that deal with emotional regulation and helped enhance this ability in participants.

So, if you want to improve your emotional regulation, get active! The key to finding an exercise you will stick to is finding one that you enjoy. Aerobic exercise can be accomplished by many different activities such as walking, jogging, cycling, using machines like the elliptical, or even aerobic dance! Moreover, make your exercise more exciting by curating a fun workout playlist and jamming to it while you complete your moves. You can also find friends to exercise with to make the experience more social and supporting. 

2. Eat and Sleep Well

Being active is great, but don’t forget to nourish your body on the inside, as well. Some research suggests that providing your body with nutritional foods and eating right can improve your cognitive abilities. 

Getting enough sleep is likewise important for treating your body right. Some good sleep hygiene tips include: to set a specific bedtime, turn off blue light features on technology before bed, avoid caffeine in the evening/night, practice mindfulness, stretching, and yoga before bed, etc.

Get Creative

Research has found that engaging in creative activities can affect people’s emotional responses. Luckily, in the same fashion as exercise practices, there are so many different ways to be artistic. One way can be through coloring in Mindfulness Coloring Books. This can help you practice mindfulness while also expressing your creativity in a fun, peaceful way! You can use dance as a form of expression – put your emotions into each step and move you take.

Additionally, if you are a music lover, you can listen to your favorite album or try writing your own song for a change. The best songs are the ones that connect to listeners and make them feel something – you can channel the emotions you are feeling into the lyrics you write. To take it one step further, you can even try singing the words and adding music to it. 

Therapy for Emotional Regulation Issues

Therapy can help to treat emotional regulation issues. A therapist can help you to learn to handle your emotions better and improve your overall well-being. 

Dialectic Behavioral Therapy (DBT )

DBT specifically addresses many of the emotion regulation issues and helps you to learn to better regulate emotions. Meanwhile, DBT integrates both acceptance and change as necessities for improvement. Its emotion regulation skills and techniques assist people you to regulate emotions more effectively and lead a more productive life.

Emotion Regulation Therapy

Emotion Regulation Therapy (ERT) specifically targets emotion regulation issue. This therapy model helps participants to better understand and accept their emotions. In general, it does this while giving them the tools to better respond to these situations and decrease the use of emotional avoidance strategies.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

Research suggests that Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can be effective forms of treatment to regulate emotions. Specially, ACT can help a person to accept the emotional stress in their life and provide useful ways to cope with it.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT helps a person to learn to alter their thought processes and utilize cognitive techniques such as reappraisal to regulate emotions.

Therapy for Depression/Anxiety

As mentioned before, research suggests that increased difficulty to control emotions can be linked to increased symptoms of depression and anxiety. Getting treatment for depression and anxiety might be necessary when dealing with your emotional regulation abilities. 

Depression

Depression makes people feel sad, agitated, and lethargic. It causes people to lose pleasure from daily life, decline in their health, struggle with family and career obligations, and can even be serious enough to lead to suicide. Our therapists at Mind Connections can help you access the tools you need to manage depression. Our psychotherapy approach is tailored to your specific diagnosis, symptoms, and needs. It may include a combination of different types of psychotherapy for depression: such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectic Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Mindfulness, etc. 

Anxiety

Therapy can also give you the tools to overcome anxiety and teaches you how to use them. At Mind Connections, our therapists implement effective therapy approaches to help you to manage anxiety. 

Good luck with your emotional regulation journey! I hope that you are able to find inner peace and better control over your emotions – you deserve to be able to do so! Practice the simple techniques provided in this article to get started!

Content Creator, Victoria Gallo; Reviewed by Dr. June Cao