Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a disorder that affects .5% of Americans. Although a clinical diagnosis, you may hear the term “narcissists” used often to describe people. For example, you may have heard one of your friends call their ex-boyfriend a narcissist. What does this exactly mean? 

To learn more about this personality disorder, keep reading!

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are usually characterized as feeling like they are above others. People with this disorder desire things like power, attention, and envy from others.

In detail, the DSM 5 definition states that NPD involves:

1. Constant feelings of grandiosity and superiority
2. A desire for unlimited power, control, success
3. An insatiable need for attention 
4. A belief in being better than others
5. A High sense of entitlement 
6. Exploitative relationships – using or taking advantage of others
7. A Lack of empathy
8. A Large deal of envy 
9. Arrogance

This disorder affects not only the ones with NPD but also the people in their lives. NPD causes the sufferer to navigate the world in a challenging way. They often carry many traits that are hard for others to deal and get along with.

Regardless, it is important to treat people with NPD as they truly are…human beings. Many times people can have toxic experiences with NPD sufferers. This has caused the public opinion of narcissists to be quite negative. It is important to hold people accountable for their actions, but it is also important to remember that there are people out there with NPD that are trying to improve themselves and become better people despite their traits. 

Moreover, this article is for anyone who:

•  Is dealing with NPD
• Is close to someone with NPD
• For anyone who just wants to learn more about this personality disorder! 

What are the Types of Narcissistic Personality Disorders?

Many researchers, the first being Paul Wink, identify two major types of narcissism: vulnerable and grandiose. Researchers Zajenkowski et al., explain that these two types of narcissism differ in some ways but ultimately share traits like:

• Self-centeredness
• Heightened self-importance
• Entitlement
• Disagreeableness
• A tendency to interact with others in an antagonistic manner

Zajenkowski et al. go on to say that vulnerable and grandiose NPD do have differences. People with Vulnerable NPD keep more to themselves. They have lower self-esteem which makes them sensitive to criticism and desiring people’s approval.

Whereas, Grandiose NPD is the opposite. People with this type of NPD have high self-esteem and a heightened self-image. These people often overestimate their abilities and act aggressively towards others. 

What Causes Narcissistic Personality Disorder ?

Before we look deeper into the traits and symptoms of NPD, let’s start at the beginning. What causes NPD?

There is no identified cause of NPD. Professionals believe that NPD might be caused by environmental factors from childhood or genetics. Researchers Wright and Furnham talk about the different attachment styles and how they can affect what type of NPD a person develops.

As mentioned in our article, “How To Heal with Inner Child Work,” attachment issues are important. The APA Dictionary describes attachment styles as to how people relate to others. These attachment types usually form during childhood. Attachment styles include:

• Secure attachment style
• Anxious attachment style
• Avoidant attachment style
• Disorganized attachment style

Researchers Wright and Furnham talk about how vulnerable NPD may be related to an anxious attachment style. People who have this attachment style struggle with self-doubt and self-esteem, this is similar to Wink’s traits of a vulnerable narcissist. Grandiose NPD is linked more to secure or avoidant attachment styles.

Genetics might be part of developing NPD, as well. Men are more likely to develop this disorder.

What are the Traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?

Let’s go more in detail about the traits of NPD. If you identify with any of these traits, NPD may be present in your life. 

Constant Feelings of Grandiosity and Superiority:

First, people with NPD value themselves very highly. There is nothing wrong with having self-love or admiration, but this self-importance is heightened. This means that people with NPD will think they are better than everyone in countless ways. Narcissists often look down on others and praise themselves as superior. They will laud themselves highly and exaggerate even when the praise is unwarranted.

Desire for Unlimited Power, Control, Success

Second, people with NPD crave control. They oftentimes think that they are the best at everything. Since they are superior to others, no one can do a better job than them. They feel like they are entitled to certain things and feel satisfied until they gain power over them.

An Insatiable Need for Attention 

Third, narcissists want attention constantly. Many vulnerable narcissists, even though they seem the opposite, have low self-esteem and envy others. They want constant attention and validation to boost their self-worth. In the times when someone with NPD is feeling superior (grandiose), they want others to shower them with attention and praise. 

A Belief of Being Better Than Others

Fourth, a narcissist tends to believe that they are the center of everything. Narcissists put themselves first and focus on their needs rather than others. People with this disorder may talk about themselves often and crave attention from others.

A High sense of entitlement 

Fifth, narcissists have a sense of entitlement. Furthermore, they believe that they deserve things just because of who they are. Notably, people with NPD feel like they are entitled to what other people have and might use them to get what they want.  

Exploitative Relationships

Sixth, narcissists can antagonize people. If a narcissist feels that they are being wronged or their ego is hurt, they may end up in narcissistic rage. That is to say that, this rage causes the person sudden aggressive behavior and outbursts.

If someone with NPD is critiqued or they experience failure, the narcissist will lash out. Ni described this rage as a way a narcissist manipulates others and protects themselves. 

Lack of Empathy

Seventh, narcissists lack empathy, They struggle to put themselves in the shoes of others. If someone calls a narcissist out on their behavior, they find it hard to recognize the hurt they caused others. All they can think about is the anger they feel while being criticized (something they are very sensitive to).

A Large Deal of Envy 

Eighth, as mentioned before, people with NPD, vulnerable in particular, can have low self-esteem. They crave validation from others and envy when people succeed around them. It challenged their idea of superiority and need for power.

Arrogant Attitude

Ninth, people with NPD can come off quite arrogant. Since they feel superior and better than others, they will act arrogant. This arrogance can be hard for others to deal with.

Relationships and Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Due to the trait listed above, it can be challenging to be around and live with a narcissist. Narcissists will oftentimes:

• Manipulate others
• Focus on their own desires
• Ignore the needs of others
• Act aggressively when angered or triggered
• Show little to no remorse when they wrong someone

These are all characteristics that can lead to unhealthy or toxic relationships. You can relate if you grew up with a parent who was like this or are in a relationship with someone who you suspect has BPD. Look out for these signs and make sure to prioritize your self-care and needs.

If you are in an unhealthy situation it is important to recognize this and make changes to better your life.

Some Ways Would Be To:

• Set healthy boundaries
• Honor your emotions
• Reflect on the situation and know when to walk away
  • It can be tough to distance yourself from a loved one. When you love someone, you want to take care of them and be there to show them support. If someone you love has NPD and the relationship between the two of you is toxic, you may need to consider walking away.
  • You may love this person a lot, but if they are not making any progress or change to be better, you might be lead down a destructive path.

No one deserves to be in an unhealthy situation. Many times, people feel like they can change someone for the better. You cannot go into a relationship with the idea that you will alter your partner eventually. You need to meet people where they are at – true change can only come from deep within.

Treatment for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?

It can be challenging for people with NPD to receive therapy because, oftentimes, they fail to view their actions or behaviors as wrong. If you have NPD and want support, these types of therapy might help. 

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT focuses on taking your negative thoughts and reframing them to be healthier and more realistic. Examples of CBT techniques include cognitive restructuring and behavioral changes.

In cognitive restructuring, a patient with NPD can identify negative reactive thoughts and modify them. For example, someone with NPD can work on accepting criticism as constructive rather than destructive. 

Mentalization-Based Treatment (MBT)

Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT) is a type of psychodynamic therapy. Mentalizing is how we understand others and react to them. People with NPD lack this understanding. MBT can help them learn more about how to react to people. and better socialize.

Anger Management:

Talking to a therapist about anger management can be beneficial. People with NPD struggle with keeping their anger in check. They can be very aggressive to others and lash out with rage. Check out our other article for more information about anger management. 

Treatment for Trauma

Psychological trauma is an emotional response to extremely stressful events. Many people who have NPD struggled with neglect or abuse in their childhood (especially vulnerable NPD). As a result, they have developed trauma. Dealing with the pain from the past may heal parts of you that you didn’t realize were affected. 

In conclusion…

We wish you the best of luck in your journey with NPD. We hope that this article could help you better understand NPD and how it affects people. Mind Connections offers CBT, therapy for anger management, and trauma therapy. Call now to receive the help you deserve!

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